The Dire Consequences of Memory Loss
by The Mills Apocrypha
Summary: The original dare: “Me and Sirius need to make out on McGonagall’s window sill.” But after being pelted with amnesia potion no one remembers it being carried out and it has to be done again, only now the rules have changed...FILTH be warned. SBRL


I did this a while ago and wasn't sure whether to put it up but seeing as I haven't put anything up for ages I decided I may as well.

Me and the Wheeze gave each other prompts, I had memory loss. And the stipulation that _I wasn't allowed to cop out!!_ *cowers* I overcame my terror of 'naughty words' (well no I didn't but I made a valiant effort) so this is a little, shall we say _explicit_. If you're too young, please don't be here and if you're not keen be warned.

* * *

The moon glinted over the rooftops of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry coating the castle in an eerie half light, littered with black shadows. In the distance, one of the shadows was moving.

It was attached to a chimney and seemed to be rocking against it; it also appeared to have 2 heads. One head was panting like the dog it was while the other head was tilted back and howling to the waxing moon. The air around this particular, peculiar shadow seemed to shimmer and pulsate, distinguishing it from the rest of the peaceful scene surrounding it. Peaceful that is until the window below the shadow's roof was flung open, shutters banging off the walls. "WHAT ON EARTH IS THAT RACKET?" Minerva McGonagall's voice pierced the night.

xxx

A mad dash later and the shadow was found on a roof a distance away from the first. It had split into two. And both bits were now panting. "Merlin, that was close Moony." The first whispered.  
"You're telling me." The second replied.  
There was a pause as both caught their breath.  
And then...  
"Moony?"  
"Yeah?"  
"That was SO HOT!"  
"God I know!"  
They tried to laugh but didn't have the energy and instead collapsed on top of each and passed out.

xxx

"I can't _believe_ you two actually _did_ it!" James Potter's face was full of awe as he regarded the man in front of him, who was looking extremely smug.

"Prongs my boy, have you _ever_ known me to pass up on a dare? Especially when my baby is at stake. _You_ don't have the balls to sit astride her smooth seat, _you_ haven't the spine to hold her gleaming handlebars, _you_ lack the-"

"Alright! I get it. You get to keep the damn bike. Hell you deserve it after that performance, both of you. Balls and spine. You have my eternal respect." He shook his head in wonderment.

"How far are you two on this?" Peter Pettigrew asked, peering over at James and Sirius' amnesia potion. It was deep blue, compared to the lilac sludge that he and Remus Lupin were sweating over with increasing desperation.

"Done." Says James, "Wasn't exactly hard." Remus and Peter rolled their eyes at each other and turned back to their potion, now in the process of turning maroon. Remus squinted at the board.

"Jaaames," Remus began slowly. "Have you read number 16?" James was now busy with Sirius trying to surreptitiously lift the skirt of Marlene McKinnon as she bended over her smoking potion and was not listening. "James! It says you have to take it off the fire as soon as it's done, are you listening to me? SIRIUS! Take it off the fi-_BOOM_!"

The air was filled with projectile blue liquid and smoke as the whole class was pelted with amnesia potion, all except Remus Lupin, who managed to drop to the ground and under the table a split second before the potion exploded.

As the blue hue faded Remus emerged to find his classmates dripping in potion, standing and blinking at each other. "Um, guys?" He asked. "Are you ok?" He waved a hand in front of Sirius' face, which broke into a wide grin.

"What are you doing Moony?" He laughed, grabbing Remus' hand and hitting him on the head with it. Then, taking in the scene around him he dropped the hand. "Er, what happened here?"

Remus was seeing similar reactions all around the room. He took the initiative and walked to the front of the class and cleared his throat. "Erhumm, excuse me! You have all been hit with a forgetfulness potion. Now, listen very carefully- can you all remember your names?..."

There was silence, before the room erupted into laughter.

"Oh my God what an idiot/can we remember our names/what does he think we are/ such a loser/knew he was cracked." Remus coloured and frowned.

"We need to establish the strength of the potion you were all hit with. Then we will be able to ascertain how long-"

"Thank you Mr Lupin I can take it from here." Professor Slughorn ambled up to Remus and politely pushed him out the way. "Do not worry, the potion only blanks out the memory of the last twenty-four hours"

Remus gaped at him. "How-"

"Mr Lupin I have been taking this class for many years and I have no reason to believe that I would have deviated today. Class! I shall inform all your professors as to the situation you find yourselves in but I assume you all have sufficient notes not to miss anything crucial by a small memory lapse." He vanished the splattered potion with a wave of his wand.

"Who cares about school work?" Shrieked Latisha Vaughan "I had a date tonight, or last night with Stu Samuels. And now I've forgotten all of it!"

Gasps of shock went up around the room as twenty teenagers realised they had no recollection of a whole twenty-four hours worth of gossip.

Remus made his way back to his seat and found his three friends huddled together. As he approached, James' head poked out the top of the huddle like a meerkat and ducked back down again. He heard a groan and a whispered 'Ok ok but you're telling him.'

Ok _now_ he was suspicious.

"Tell me what?" He asked warily.

James stepped up. "Well, the thing is Moons," his eyes darted round the room and dropped his voice slightly "that dare I set you and Pads here-"

"That dare that we completed last night!" His voice a tad higher than necessary. He began to panic, surely they weren't going to ask them to do it again? It was practically suicide to try it once but twice? May as well leap out the window now and have done with it.

"Ah well." Peter had joined in the torment now holding up his index finger "we only have your word for that now don't we?"

"But Sirius told you about it James not fif...*sigh*"

"Exactly Moony moon, I, nor Padfoot here has any recollection of this conversation. As far as we are concerned this dare never took place and you know what that means."

"Me and Sirius need to make out on McGonagall's window sill or you and Wormtail get Sirius' bike." He finished monotonously. Bastards.

"No."

Could he believe his ears? Were they actually letting them off? Had they finally developed a conscience?

"You and Sirius need to make out on _Dumbledore's_ window sill or me and Wormtail get Sirius' bike."

Remus' mouth fell open and stayed there, his stomach dropped to his toes and his heart leapt out the open mouth.

"Whoa whoa whoa! You never said anything about Dumbledore!" Sirius hissed. A part of Remus thanked the gods for creating Sirius Black (again).

"Things change, it's Dumbledore or Sirius becomes a rebel without a bike."

Remus looked at Sirius, he looked desperate. He loved that bike, he was pretty sure he cheated on him with that bike, he rode over his parents roof on that bike, he couldn't let him lose it. Taking one last look into those doleful, beautiful eyes he turned to James and Peter and nodded. "Alright, we'll do it."

Peter's eyes widened, "What literally?" He whispered.

Remus threw back his head and sighed. "I hate you both."

xxx

Remus dithered about under Dumbledore's window, many floors up. It looked very high. He gulped.

"Sirius, Pads, I really don't think we should be doing this. I mean this is beyond you know, we were really lucky last night."

"Were we now?" Sirius' smirk seemed to fill his evil little face. Remus really, _really_ wanted to wring his neck, and then the other two's. And then dance on their limp bodies. But no, instead he was going to swallow his bile and go and get off on Dumbledore's window sill. Was he _insane_?!

"Ready my dear boy?" Sirius leered as Remus shook like a leaf in terror. Realising he wasn't going to get an answer Sirius crushed his lips against Remus' and their teeth and tongues twisted round each other before he yanked himself away. He exhaled before winking and whispering "Up you go!"

He pointed his wand at Remus and muttered the levitation charm and Remus took up off the ground towards the window far above. When he eventually got there he scrambled onto the surface and clutched the edge for dear life. Luckily the Hogwarts windows were deep set allowing him room to stand easily, away from the edge.

He peeked over the rim to see Sirius way below. Taking a deep breath he muttered the same charm and Sirius began to rise up towards him. As he reached him and climbed on Remus flicked his wand behind and cast _Silencio _(It wasn't cheating, it was self-preservation.)

They then looked at each other and took deep breaths. "Moony we've done this before why are you so worried?"

Remus looked at him incredulously. "Sirius we never did _this_, right _here_!"

"Where's your sense of adventure?" Sirius said softly.

"It runs and hides whenever it hears you close." Remus replied, equally quietly.

"Aah." Sirius slipped his hand down over the bulge in Remus' trousers and massaged it through the fabric. As he felt it respond he looked up and smiled. "Not everything runs and hides evidently."

Remus closed his eyes briefly and opened them to stare into Sirius'. Who was he kidding? He wanted it, he wanted him, any time, any place, any how, it was just geography. He pulled the hot body towards him with Sirius' hand still working his crotch and kissed him hungrily. His temperature and soul soared. His slid his hand down Sirius' body to find his arousal and smiled into the kiss, he didn't have to do much work. Just as he was unhooking Sirius' belt Sirius pulled away.

"No, no." He breathed. He took a step back and grinned wickedly. "Do the spell Moony."

Remus gripped his wand and thought _levicorpus_. Sirius flipped upside down still grinning like a maniac. Remus stepped forward and pulled him towards him again by the head. They kissed, it was strange and clumsy and too wet and Dumbledore could open his window at any moment and see them and he was SO turned on it was untrue.

Again Sirius awkwardly pushed himself away, they had to move quickly or he'd just pass out, not a successful end. He grabbed Remus' shirt and pulled himself down his body until he reached the trousers, he hooked up the shirt and laid light kisses on the skin above the waistband, then rolled his tongue in circles round his abdomen, knowing how ticklish Remus was. Remus tried to squirm but Sirius had him by the belt, which he then quickly unfastened, followed by the flies.

Remus' trousers dropped to the floor. Sirius briefly ran his fingers just under the waistband before tugging them down too, exposing his erection. He touched a finger to the tip, smearing the fluid round it before pulling himself closer and covering it with his mouth, as far down as he could go.

Remus let out a gasp and gripped the edges of the sill, the cold stone cutting into his hands, he didn't notice. Sirius ran his tongue around the very tip of the cock and felt it twitch. He moved down the length and pressed his tongue down and all around while Remus tried desperately not to move and moan.

He ran his tongue over the contours, trying to smooth them out, feeling out every ridge and not missing a spot, keeping up the pressure as he salivated heavily. He held onto Remus' backside to steady himself, he was starting to feel lightheaded.

He moved his mouth, dragging his lips up and down, quickening his pace, tongue flicking across the top, down the sides before halting and pressing down allowing all the warmth of his mouth to envelop that warmth it enclosed. He heard a hoarse cry above him and quickened further, the breathing got more ragged as Remus moved with him, now unable to help himself. He kept going until he felt Remus go rigid and shudder and warm fluid ejected into his mouth, mingling with his saliva that plastered his hands and the hairs surrounding. He removed his mouth, spat onto the grass below and grabbed his wand, setting himself the right way up before collapsing on top of Remus, head spinning.

"Pad...foot?"

"Yeah?"

"That...was SO HOT!"

"God I _know_!"

For a minute there was only the sound of them panting in the darkness.

"Did you just hear something?" They looked at each other for a split second, then grabbed clothes and wands and leapt off the window sill, plunging towards the ground. Using a cushioning charm to land, they hit the floor running and took off across the open grounds, Remus' bottom bare and white, glinting in the moonlight as he ran.

* * *

A/N  
I was going to give it proper ending, but this one makes me smile, wickedly. Plus Sirius setting the whole thing up and not really forgetting anything was just too clichéd and predictable.

Reviews keep my soul warm, flames are a bit too hot though. You wouldnt want to get cold during the credit crunch now would you? (puppy dog eyes)


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